If I can be completely transparent about my sins
and struggles with you, I would say that part of me really wants to whine and
complain right now. Why are we not further along in this process yet? It has
been three months and we are still waiting to have our first in home interview
for our homestudy. Why does it have to take so long? Our child is growing up in
someone else's arms. Why does someone else get to rock them to sleep at night?
Why do they get to read them a bedtime story? Why does someone else get to feed
them for the first time? Why does someone else get to watch them take their
first steps? Why does someone else get to hear them utter their first words? We
are missing out on so many things. Why. Why. Why.
I could go on and on, but God ever so patiently
and gracefully reminds me why we are in this process.
You see, we aren't doing this just because we
want to have kids. We aren't doing this just because we feel ready to expand
our family. We aren't doing this just because we love kids. We aren't doing
this because we think it will make us feel good. We aren't doing this because
the world tells us we should have kids by now. We aren't doing this just
because we want to and think it will be a crazy, wild experience.
NO.
We do this because of Jesus Christ and for His
glory alone. Period.
I have heard from several people that we inspire
them by what we are doing. The only thing I ever hope to inspire you to do, is
look to and follow Jesus Christ. Nothing more. God has told us "Religion
that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to
visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep
oneself unstained from the world." James 1:27 "to him be glory
in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.
Amen." Ephesians 3:21 We pray that God will use us to bring people to Him,
as He wills.
So when the thought of complaining or doubt, or
whatever "it" may be starts to creep into your head, align your heart
with Christ. We trust in Christ alone.
With that said, some of you may be wondering
where we are in the process. Currently we are waiting for one final piece of
paperwork to get sent to our social worker. Once she has it in her hands, we
can schedule our first in home interview! In the meantime, Kyle and I are
working diligently at gathering documents, reading and completing online
training modules. It is all great stuff and we are excited to have the
opportunity to prepare ourselves, even just a little bit. :)
Till next time,
-Jana
